Mama Tells All

parenthood…enjoy the ride!

Breastfeeding 101: What they don’t tell you in Mommy Class

on August 4, 2014

In honor of August being National Breastfeeding Month, below is something that I formerly published about my experiences breastfeeding. The picture is of my boys “playing” with “Mommy’s toys.” If you’ve ever breastfed, I hope that this picture makes you smile…

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A mother with perfect makeup and great hair sits lovingly holding her baby to her chest, smiling down at her breastfeeding infant that she holds in her arms. The baby is silently eating, and the mother looks like she could not be happier. Cue the soft lullabies in the background, and the sun shining in through the window…

If this is what breastfeeding really looks like, then I somehow missed the memo. Feeding your baby in sweats and a nursing tank top, wondering when you last showered, is more like it. I would like to share a few of my observations about REAL breastfeeding. Caution: These experiences would NOT be put on a Medela commercial. My experiences include feeding my first son for 10 months(a barracuda of an eater with unceasing hunger) and my second son for 9 months.

When I was pregnant with my first son, I went to the breastfeeding class offered by my hospital. It was a good class, and I would recommend taking one if you are a mommy looking to breastfeed. Bring Dad too…Dad needs to know how much work this is going to be for you, if only so that he brings you flowers or chocolate on occasion for sacrificing your body for your little cherub once again after already giving up your bodily rights for nine months.

I should say before I continue that I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding, and all of the many benefits that it is supposed to provide. Higher IQ, less sickness, easier time digesting food, less smelly poop… Without a doubt, I knew that I wanted to give that to my children. However, here are the things that I wish someone had told me before this milky journey began…

* Your boobs are no longer your own. They are functional milk-producing units that belong to your baby. You thought you were tied down by rules while pregnant? Just wait until you figure out that your little one doesn’t like it when you eat green peppers or that you still can’t take most medicines. Baby still rules.

 
* Your new best friend should be lanolin cream. This MAY save your nipples from cracking, bleeding, blistering, etc. But don’t be surprised if you are still so sore at first that you don’t want a slight breeze to blow past your chest…

 
* If you pump, you may very well hear your pump whispering things to you. Whether this is because the pump is actually talking to you, or it is just a hallucination brought on by too many late night feedings and not enough sleep, I will let you decide. However, I can tell you that my pump has told me to “let it go” and “let it out”…and most would deem me a pretty sane person.

 
* Don’t be surprised if you cannot find a bra that fits right to save yourself. Your boobs will be various sizes throughout the day, and your left lady might be bigger than your right one. Or vice versa. No guarantee that your girls are equal opportunity milk makers.

 
* You very well may “wet the bed.” I have discussed this with several other mamas (to make sure that it wasn’t just me), and here’s the sad fact. Many of you will not be able to sleep on your stomach, or even side, while breastfeeding. I once dared to lay on my side in the first few months of feeding, and woke up with a soaked top. And sheets. No one warned me about this. I thought I wasn’t going to have to deal with wet sheets until potty training! Think again.

 
* Lastly, do not be surprised if someone else’s baby crying causes torrential letdown for you…while your baby is content. I distinctly recall sitting in the emergency room (being treated for mastitis…another potential joy of breastfeeding), watching my hospital gown soak through, because a baby was crying a few doors down. Call it mother’s sympathy pains or whatever you want, but it was annoying.

 

I don’t tell you all of these things to scare off those of you interested in breastfeeding your kids. I am simply letting you know some of the truths of breastfeeding, so you’re not sitting at home wondering, “Is this happening to anyone else???” Yes, it is. You’re not alone. They just didn’t tell you this in class because they didn’t want to frighten you while you were still anticipating the fears of delivering a baby.

If I ever had another kid, knowing all that it would entail, would I choose to breastfeed again? Absolutely. In the midst of all the crazy stuff, there are the quiet moments of bonding that make it all worthwhile. And the ability to just “whip ’em out” and feed your kid any time, any place…that can be convenient too. There are perks. I can’t deny that. I was actually a little sad when my first son suddenly weaned himself, and when I last fed my youngest son. There are benefits and joys to being a lactating lady.

Just don’t say I didn’t warn you about the rest of it.


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